How I’m Surviving Parenthood: Real-Life Strategies for Overwhelmed Parents

In my last blog post, I wrote about why parenting is so hard-especially for folx with complex trauma. This blog post is a continuation, sharing the ways I am surviving the daily challenges of parenthood.

Parenting is relentless. Some days, it feels like I’m just holding it together by threads. These are the strategies that help me keep going:

1. I name my feelings.

   When I’m struggling, I pause and name what I’m feeling: “I’m frustrated. I’m lonely. I’m tired and overwhelmed.” Simply naming my emotions softens them. Sometimes my wounded inner child gets triggered, and my job is to tend to her. I talk to her like I would talk to an actual child:

   “You’re so frustrated. It makes sense! You haven’t had a break. This is hard.” Sometimes I even say this out loud to my son—not blaming him, but modeling what it looks like to express my feelings.

2. I Make Self-Care Work for Me.

   As a single mom, self-care takes creativity. I invite my toddler to do yoga with me using his yoga books (even though it often becomes a climbing-on-mom session). I walk with him in the stroller, which doubles as exercise. I squeeze in five minutes of stretching (or just laying on the floor) between emails—because five minutes is better than zero. I even “stack” self-care with work by asking colleagues to do walking meetings instead of video calls.

3. I Let Music and Sound Help Me.

   Music is medicine. I listen to songs that match my mood. I sing and hum (which stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system and calms the body). I sigh, grunt, even pretend cry—letting some of that tension out through sound.

4. I Reframe Everyday Tasks.

   I call showers “washing off the stress.” I turn dishwashing into “me time” by watching junk TV while I do it, ideally something funny. I even take baths with my son—choosing to enjoy the bubbles instead of only focusing on cleaning him.

5. I Invest in My Healing.

   I show up for weekly therapy with someone who accepts me and all my “parts.” She helps me step out of “manager mode” and reconnect with my heart and body. I also take herbs and homeopathic medicine to help my mood.

6. I Ask for Help (Constantly).

   I lean on friends, family, and online parenting groups. I ask for help with decisions. I schedule play dates—even when I’m tired—because I almost always feel better after adult conversation.

7. I Take the Next Right Step.

   Even when I don’t want to, I log into online support group meetings. My 12-step program reminds me I’m not alone, offers perspective, and gives me a way to be of service—even if it’s in small ways right now.

8. I Practice Forgiveness & Small Joys.

   I remind myself: I am doing the best I can with what I have. I try to forgive myself for not being perfect. And I allow little indulgences, because small things keep me going. Thank you, pistachio ice cream.

Parenting is a daily struggle. I don’t know how some parents do this with fewer resources. I’m grateful for therapy, recovery, family, and community—and for the parents I now support in my therapy practice.

If you’re an overwhelmed parent, you don’t have to do this alone. I offer therapy for parents in Berkeley and virtually across California. Click here to contact me for a consultation. And if you’d like monthly resources and encouragement, subscribe to my newsletter.